Sunday, May 3, 2015

Felix et Meira, a review.


With a slew of stories of people abandoning their religion coming to the public eye, out comes a movie circumscribed around a woman leaving her shtetl.

 This is not just another tale of a person losing their religion.  This is not just another tale of forbidden love.  And this is certainly not a fabliau.  To a person who is not accustomed to foreign films, it may even seem unsettling.  To my special lady, this movie was "Too French!"  She admittedly has never seen a French film.  I've seen "The Red Balloon."  I've seen enough European art films to be familiar with the genre, but not intimately. 

 The protagonist of the film, played by Hadas Yaron, is Malka--or Meira in French (corrected:  Meira is not a French name, it is Hebrew.  Je ne parlais pas Francais, so I assumed that just like I have an Engish name and a Hebrew name that are both different, Meira was a French name.  Thanks Menachem and Smadar).  She is married to Shulem, a young Hassidic man played by Luzer Twerski, who may arguably be a tragic antihero.  Unfortunately, Shulem's character is left almost nearly underdeveloped.  But then we have Felix, a secular middle aged Jew played by Martin Dubreuil. 

Meira/Malka is trapped in a Hassidic enclave in Montreal.  Shulem starts off as the overbearingly authoritarian husband.  He doesn’t beat her.  He doesn’t raise his voice to her.  But he does castigate her constantly.  He does not like the fact that she draws in her little sketchbook.  He does not like her listening to records of secular music.  He especially does not like their infant daughter, Elisheva, being corrupted by the secular music.

The record that she’s so fond of is “After Laughter (Comes Tears)” by Wendy Rene.  It’s a slow, slightly somber but bouncy R&B number with Booker T on the organ.  The song is very appropriate for the theme of the movie.  After all, none of the three characters in the movie are happy.  And the way the movie ends, they may never find happiness.

The character who is most richly developed is Meira.  When Shulem reprimands her, she lies on the floor and plays dead (perhaps what Charcot/Freud would have called hysteria.  Perhaps psychosomatic).  At first, Shulem is not receptive.  As a product of his upbringing, he thinks he’s being a good husband.  But he doesn’t realize that the tighter his squeezes, the more she slips away.  He does not realize that she’s secretly taking birth control.  He knows she’s in pain, but does not have the capacity to ameliorate her. 

Enter Felix.  Felix is also a sad man.  He is single, estranged by his father, is close with his sister.  When we first meet Felix, he visits his dying father.  But the father doesn’t even acknowledge Felix, or that he even has a son.  When the father dies, Felix does not know how to feel.

Later, Felix sees Meira with Elisheva in a kosher pizza shop.  Meira is drawing a picture.  Felix likes it.  He tries to initiate a conversation.  She avoids him.  It takes Felix awhile before Meira finally decides to go up to his apartment.

The plot may seem formulaic.  But the saving grace of this movie is director Maxime Giroux.  The camera shots do a great job capturing the mood.  The snowy streets of Montreal, the thin streets of Williamsburg, the spacious air in Venice, and even the dinginess in Shulem’s apartment, the dim lighting in Felix’s father’s house, the ambiance in a dance club, et al.  Most importantly, while the movie is very character oriented and the dialogue is well done, I think it is the visuals that make this movie memorable.

The pacing was slow.  Modern audiences will not appreciate this.  The crowd that should probably see “Avengers: Age of Ultron” will most certainly be bored.  But those who have the patience will enjoy this movie. 

There are several moments worth analyzing:

1.  When Meira is folding laundry with some of the other Hassidic ladies.  One of them (Suri) notices that Meira is not okay.  She asks what’s wrong.  Meira won’t say.  Suri, thinking it’s that Meira wasn’t having any more children, tells her that she should not worry, God will eventually oblige.  To which Meira finally cracks and says she doesn’t want any more children. 

Word gets back to Shulem.  Shulem, instead of trying to console her, tells her that she shouldn’t confide things like this with the other ladies.  This was one of those moments were Shulem may have been able to fix their relationship.  But he did what was expected of him as a Hassidic man.  If he had only realized how badly their relationship was derailed, he could have tried marriage counseling, therapy, perhaps medication.  But thus the flaw in his character.  He continues to forbid her to express herself.  And he is more concerned about what everyone else will think of him (and their child) if she continues to behave this way.

2.  When Meira tried on her first pair of blue jeans.  To this I have personal insight.  I’ve been in the presence of former ultra-orthodox women publicly wearing pants for the first time.  The scene took place in a hotel overlooking the Manhattan skyline.  Here, Felix was beginning to really enter her life.  She even takes off her wig for the first time in the movie.  Her hair looks flat, matted, like it hasn’t seen the light of day.  But there is a beauty to it.  And the dim light from the hotel window makes her look a bit like a fallen angel beginning to recover.  As a cathartic moment, it was not overdone.  In fact, I feel like that scene deserved much more prominence than it did.  But I’m guessing that the director preferred it remained what it was.  Another moment.

3.  When Shulem finally meets Felix.  He saw a sketch of Felix in Meira’s notepad.  He tore it up.  He asked Meira who it was.  Meira wouldn’t say.  She just locked herself in the bathroom, her safe place.

Shulem arrived in Williamsburg.  Meira told her cousin she was going out to Lee Ave. to buy a present for Elisheva.  She didn’t realize that Shulem was following her.  Shulem sees Meira holding Felix’s hand.  He immediately accosts Felix.  Now Shulem was clearly not much of a fighter; the manner in which he was slapping Felix looked like a kid bitch slapping another kid over a lollypop.  But Felix didn’t fight back.  I would have made Shulem angrier, perhaps punch him more.  When Shulem realized who Felix was, he stopped. 

At this point, all became clear to Shulem.  Suddenly, he begins to notice that it is partially his fault that he has been cuckolded.  I would have expected him to seriously explode, to go nuclear.  But he didn’t.  He became overly pensive and melancholy.

3.  One motif early on in the movie is Meira playing with mousetraps.  She loves the sound they make when they snap.  Definitely a cry for help.  We see a mousetrap in the cupboard. 

Toward the end of the movie, Shulem hears rattling in the cupboard.  He opens up.  There is a mouse caught in the trap. The mouse is struggling.  The mouse looks at Shulem in pain.  Shulem says in a dejected voice that the world is a cruel place.  And the trap with the mouse falls out of the cupboard.

This image represents the situation of all three characters.  Shulem does not have sympathy for the mouse.  In many ways, he was the one trapping Meira.  But he was not willing to free the mouse.  He was not willing to change himself and make her untrapped.  His reaction to the mouse, as his feelings toward his wife now, were that the world is a cruel place.

4.  When Shulem finally confronts Felix.  How awkward it must have been.  Shulem did, after all, assault Felix.  Felix did invite him upstairs and offer him wine.  Shulem refused the wine, even though Felix assured him the wine was kosher as it was his father’s (the one indication we have that Felix actually is Jewish).  What Felix doesn’t realize is that an Orthodox Jew won’t even leave a wine bottle open around one who doesn’t keep Sabbath.  Yes, I’ve had religious Jews refuse to drink wine with me because I do not keep the Sabbath. 

This scene is perhaps the scene where we finally get to know Shulem best.  We never really got much of a glimpse into his psyche yet.  He does inform Felix that if Meira does go back to him, she will have to completely abandon the community and everything she knows.  Their baby will grow up motherless.  He does not want this.  And also, he does love Meira.  He is dead without her.

He is dead without her.  The scene before that, Shulem asked her why she no longer plays dead.  She said she’s already dead inside.  So now, Shulem realizes it’s too late.  She could never be happy with him.  Felix was as close as she would ever get to being happy. 

And so, Shulem just makes Felix promise that he will make her happy.  That he will take care of her.

5.  Sort of a sub-plot in (4).  Felix had a letter from his father.  He never read it.  He was clearly harboring anger, as the last time he saw his father, his father acted like he didn't even have a son.  So before Shulem comes over, we see Felix folding the letter into a paper airplane and trying to burn it (unsuccessfully).  He finally managed to get the nose ablaze when Shulem came in.  He extinguished the fire.

Toward the end of their conversation, Shulem asked Felix about the letter.  He noticed the letter was folded into an airplane and slightly charred.  Felix explained that it was from his father, he didn't want to read it, and was trying to put it aside.  Shulem asked if he could read it.  Felix allowed him.

This is the one moment in the film where Shulem speaks French.  When he speaks to Meira, he speaks Yiddish.  When he speaks to Felix, he speaks English.  It is interesting to note that Meira and Felix also mostly speak to each other in English even though Meira clearly understands French, but I don't think Felix understands Yiddish.  But I digress:  Felix reads the letter in French.  The letter said that the father was losing his mind and his memory.  So before he completely gave in to dementia, he wanted to apologize to Felix for the way he treated him.

This letter might as well have been from Shulem to Meira at this point.  And Meira might never read that letter either.  So much of this movie was about bad relationships, be their filial or matrimonial.  Most if it is miscommunication, or total lack of communication.  When Shulem read the letter, he was opening a line to one of those relationships.  But at this point, it was too late for Felix to ever really forgive his father, as his father was no longer with the living.  The tragedy with Shulem is that it may not have been too late for him.  But as indicated in (3), Shulem had already resigned himself to thinking that the world is just a cruel place.

In the end, Meira takes the baby and steals away to Venice.  Venice was Felix’s happy place.  And it should have been for her.  But it’s made clear that she’s still not happy.  And nor is Elisheva. 

But Shulem is even more broken.  The last we see of him, he puts on that forbidden record, “After Laughter (Comes Tears).”  And then, he lies on the floor playing dead, just like Meira used to.  I felt for Shulem.  Poor Shulem.  Aside from his character deserving more development, he really did care for his wife.  But as a result of his upbringing and his surroundings, he did not know how to properly treat her.  Who knows, if they weren’t in such a restrictive environment, or if he was more open-minded, they probably could have been a good couple.  But we may never know.  He was so caught up in being a good Jewish husband, that he didn’t bother to listen to her.  And so he lost her.

The movie ends with Felix and Meira in a gondola going down a canal. The gondolier is singing an Italian song.  They have no idea what’s going to happen next.  But clearly, this is not a happily-ever-after.  Meira still has to live with the guilt that she’s completely left everything behind.  And will Felix make a good father to Elisheva?  We see how Felix is as a fling, but how is he as a husband?  The ending of this movie raises many questions.

I would give this movie 3/5 stars.  The Good:  The visuals and the acting.  The Bad:  Could have used better character development.  The Ugly: Script could have used a bit more workshopping.  Some parts seemed a bit formulaic, bordering on cliché.  If not for the fact that the subject is one that is hardly touched in cinema (Hassidic women going Off the Derech), it might have less appeal.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein, a tribute.

"A couple of years after we moved to Yerushalyim, I was once walking with my family in the Beit Yisrael neighborhood, where R. Isser Zalman Meltzer used to live. For the most part, it consists of narrow alleys. We came to a corner, and found a merchant stuck there with his car. The question came up as to how to help him; it was a clear case of perika u-te’ina (helping one load or unload his burden). There were some youngsters there from the neighborhood, who judging by their looks were probably ten or eleven years old. They saw that this merchant was not wearing a kippa. So they began a whole pilpul, based on the gemara in Pesachim (113b), about whether they should help him or not. They said, ‘If he walks about bareheaded, presumably he doesn’t separate terumot u-ma’asrot, so he is suspect of eating and selling untithed produce…..’” I wrote R. Soloveitchik a letter at that time, and told him of the incident. I ended with the comment, ‘Children of the age from our camp would not have known the gemara, but they would have helped him.’ My feeling then was: Why, Ribbon shel Olam, must this be our choice? Can’t we find children who would have helped him and still know the gemara? Do we have to choose? I hope not; I believe not. If forced to choose, however, I would have no doubts where my loyalties lie: I prefer that they know less gemara but help him." (From the book Ohr Panecha)
h/t Ysoscher Katz


I only met Rav Aharon once.  It was ephemeral.  That week, he was the scholar-in-residence at Yeshiva University.  I was waitering that Shabbat.  After Friday night's prayers, one waiter would stand as a "greeter" by the entrance to the Fuhrman Dining Hall.  That week, I was chosen to be greeter.  

I was standing there, wishing good Shabbos to everyone coming in.  Suddenly, I heard a deep, firm voice calmly wishing me "Good Shabbos."  I looked up, and there was Rav Aharon, with a dulcet, amiable smile on his face.  

I'm not sure why this moment left such an impression on me.  I'm guessing it's because up to that point, I had only ever seen Rav Aharon standing at a podium delivering lectures.  I could never follow his lectures.  One lecture, which he delivered at the Gruss Kollel in Israel as a tribute to his teacher, Rav JB Soloveichik, completely stupefied me.  He had at least 10 books in front of him, and he was dexterously utilizing all of them to create a staggering lecture.  Around 5 minutes in, he lost me.  The times after that, any time I heard him speak, I could tell he was an extremely intelligent, articulate man whose reputation preceded him.  However, I was not erudite enough to grasp his lectures.

The man standing in front of me at that moment was a completely different man.  He was not a lofty, prodigious scholar blinding me with hermeneutics.  He was a kindly, amiable, tranquil sexagenerian.  He just seemed so human at that moment.  If I didn't know he was the great Rabbi Aharon Licthestein, PhD, I would probably have thought he was somebody's Zeide.  

It is stories like the one above that make me wish I knew more about Rav Aharon.  For many years, I was told "derech eretz kodma l'torah" (lit. the way of the world comes before the bible, connotation "being a good person is more important than pleasing God.")  Unfortunately, many people I was raised with were very lax in that.  I have heard other Jews saying all kinds of crass statements such as "it's okay to steal from a non-Jew", "it is forbidden to shop in a non-Jew's store", or even "if a non-Jew loses his/her wallet, it is forbidden to return it."  All of which I find reprehensible.

AFAIK, all the above are not considered normative Jewish law (and I hope they are not).  And so, it is for this reason that I think we need more leaders like Rav Aharon, who not only say that being a good person is important, but also embody it!

To Rav Aharon.  May your light shine on forever.

Monday, January 5, 2015

"The Interview", worth the hype?

Before we begin, I just want to state that I maintain that the entire thing about Sony being hacked was a publicity hoax.  I don't know who was behind it.  But whoever it was, it worked.  This movie may not gross what it would have in the theaters; but at least it is now being overhyped and will go down in history as having some cult status.

           That having been said, here is what I think.  Worth the hype?  Simple answer, no.

           We all know the premise of the movie.  James Franco and Seth Rogen, the leaders of the millenial Frat Pack, play a team of brain-dead celebrity gossip star and producer.  ::SPOILER ALERT:: After a much hyped episode where Marshall Mathers III came out of the closet, they managed to secure an interview with Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, also known as North Korea.

           The movie makes obvious references to the famous Frost/Nixon interviews.  For those unaware, David Frost was considered a tabloid journalist.  Nixon only agreed to allow the interview because he thought that Frost was going to make it a fluff piece.  But Frost surpassed expectations by actually digging in and playing hardball.  "The Interview" makes many overt references to this.  Oh, the way they make Franco's character an idiot savant--has a way with words, but still lacking not only common sense, but serious knowledge of the facts.

          I was half hoping for some digs at Dennis Rodman as well.  We didn't get those, at least not overtly.  The scene where the reporter and supreme leader play a game of one-on-one probably was a nod to Dennis Rodman's alleging that Kim Jong-Un loves basketball and that if Obama really wanted to, he could just give Kim Jong-Un a call--they both love basketball, so they have what to discuss!

          The characters were definitely endearing.  The plot, on the other hand, was  a bit too trite--something out of the slush pile of a creative writing class in a community college.  If not for the hype surrounding it, this movie would not have stuck with me.  It would have been another "This Is the End" or "Freddy Got Fingered".  Except the latter also happens to be the biggest waste of a movie ticket ever.

          Verdict:  Not Franco/Rogen's best.  Not their worst either.  Has its moments.  Worth watching.  But if not for the hype.....let's just say this Kim Jong-Un is nowhere nearly as diabolical or memorable as Team America's "I'm So Ronery" Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Reincarnation Man

I don't believe in Karma. Never did. Probably never will.

Having dabbled a bit in Eastern philosophy, I think Karma is one of the most misused words in the English lexicon. Many have heard "what goes around comes around" but don't know the original source (Lao Tzu, in case you are curious). But there is a bit more to Karma than that. It is actually a much more intricate concept.

I forget the source. When I was in college, I was reading a piece on concepts that are lost in translation, rendered completely meaningless in other languages. The example was "karma" and "justice."  Justice is as foreign a concept to the Eastern world as Karma is to the Western world. But they both accomplish the same thing. They both embody the same principle of humans getting what they deserve. To use the Jewish terminology, "same Tachlis, different Pe'ulah" (same purpose, different action).

Last week, my mother gave me a box. In the box was some old papers of mine. Letters. Classwork. Assignments. Poems. Pictures. I looked through them. I wrote those things. I recall writing them. But as I read them, I almost didn't recognize my own voice.

It was as if a stranger had once inhabited my body. For all these years, that stranger lived my life. He carried out my human subprocesses. He was my ego. But trapped under that ego was an Atman waiting to get out. The environment I was in trapped this Atman. Restraint after restraint after restraint. They wanted to turn me into someone else.

For all these years, I was doing someone else's Dharma. That someone else would have thrived if only he was in someone else's body. But that someone else was too distant.

Reading these letters makes me more painfully aware of this dissonance.

But most importantly, the key that imprisons Atman is held by only one man: ME.

I am all that stands in the way of my being free.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

For These I Am Thankful

Good morning America from Acherland. 

It was a wonderful day.  I spent it with my parents, my brother, and my girlfriend.  My mother was never much for cooking Thanksgiving meals, so she ordered take out.  This saved me cooking.  For the first time in a few years, I did not resemble a balabusta fressing over my food.  So this was the most peaceful thanksgiving I've had.  So now, with apologies to Arlo Guthrie, a Thanksgiving poem.

Riding on the Borough of Fair Lawn
NJTransit afternoon bus
20 miles and 40 restless minutes
One pissed off driver and 30 passengers plus

All along the Northwest bound odyssey
The bus pulls down Rt 4 out of Ft Lee
Rolls along past buildings trees and shopping malls
Passing cars that have no names
Bus stops full of old commuters
And the graveyards of childhood memories

Good morning America how are you?
Don't you know me, I'm your forlorn son
I'm the bus they call The Borough of Fair Lawn
I'll be 20 miles when the day is gone.

Reading Guns, Germs, and Steel wedged by the window
Turning a page a minute, ain't no one keeping track
Won't you pass the paper that reads today's news
Feel the hum of the road beneath the floor
And the sons of the transit workers
And the sons of the ticketeers
Ride their father's magic carpet made of steel
Mothers with their children asleep
Are rockin' to the gentle beat
And the rhythm of the wheels is all they feel

Good morning America how are you?
Don't you know me, I'm your forlorn son
I'm the bus they call The Borough of Fair Lawn
I'll be 20 miles when the day is gone.

Nighttime in the City of Harlem
Changing pace out of Ft Lee
Half we home, we'll be there by evening
Through the Hudson darkness
Rolling to the Bay
And all the towns and people seem
to fade into a good dream
And the paved road still ain't heard the news
The driver sings his song again
The passengers will please refrain
This bus's got the disappearing transit blues

Good night America how are you?
Don't you know me, I'm your forlorn son
I'm the bus they call The Borough of Fair Lawn
I'll be 20 miles when the day is gone.

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Now that I'm finished butchering this classic, here is my list of things I am thankful for.  I am 35 years old, so I will list 35, in no particular order.

1.  My family.  They have been with me for everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Strikes, gutterballs, when I was the king, when I was the fool, when I was in the trough, when I was on a plateau, and when I was completely nowhere at all.
2.  My wonderful girlfriend.  She has brought out the best in me.  I may not always be the best boyfriend out there.  But she has stood by me through it all.  It took me longer than Jacob to finally consummate my feelings for her.  But we both waited patiently.  And it all worked out for the best.
3.  My friends.  This list is too long to enumerate.  The older I get, the smaller my list of close friends get.  But better a smaller list of close friends than a larger list of asshole buddies.
4.  My books.  I've had a love-hate relation with them over the years.  More love than hate.  My attention span may not do them justice.  But from them, I have learned plenty.  Perhaps I have filled my head with too much useless information.  But books are the friends who can never reciprocate my love for them. 
5.  My students.  Each student is another learning experience.  Aside from teaching them, I grow from each one.  I can only hope that I spend many more years enriching the minds of many many more.
6.  My TV.  As Homer Simpson once said, "teacher, mother, secret lover."  Need I say more?
7.  Netflix.  The consummate time waster. 
8.  Beer.  Again, the Wisdom of Homer J Simpson, "The cause and the solution to all the world's problems."
9.  Food.  The quickest way to a man's heart.
10.  My apartment.  It gives me shelter, it gives me a place to entertain, to live, to love, and to be me.
11.  My coworkers.  They look out for me, they are there for me, they are great company.
12.  My previous job at Starbucks.  When I was at the lowest point in my life, this job helped me pick up the pieces.  It was there that I became the man I am today.  They put up with plenty of my bullshit over the years.  They kicked my ass when I needed it.  They shaped me into a fine young man.
13.  City College of New York.  When I first transferred there, I was a broken man.  I was in between many things.  It was there that I finally pulled my shit together.  It was there that I finally learned how to buckle down and apply myself.  It was there that I learned how to do research.  It was there that I was exposed to a diverse student body.  It was there that I learned how to survive in a multicultural environment.  And it was there that I met the love of my life.
14.  Music.  Ah music.  You sooth the savage beast.  You make me happy, sad, and everything in between.  I am so glad you are in my life.
15.  New York City.  The greatest city in the world. 
16.  America.  The greatest country in the world.  I may not have the best relationship with you.  But you haven't given up on me either.
17.  President Obama.  I have not given up on you either.  You have enriched many with hope who otherwise wouldn't have it. 
18.  My guitar.  I haven't played you in a while.  But from playing you, I was exposed to many genres of music I otherwise wouldn't have dreamed of touching.
19.  Judaism.  I may not consider myself Jewish anymore.  But you did shape my early life.  I have held onto some of the more important lessons you have taught me.  And hey, I still enjoy a good cholent and niggun.
20.  My health.  It may not be what it used to be.  But I have it. 
21.  My gym.  Great way to let off stress.  And it is making me more energetic.  It makes me feel better about myself.
22.  Video games.  I may not get the modern ones.  But the ones I play are possibly my biggest vice.
23.  My pets.  Lady the Turtle and Winter the Cat.  You are great company.
24.  Cartoons.  Never too old to enjoy them.
25.  My clothes.  I wear them.  They keep me warm.  They keep me from being naked. 
26.  My iPhone.  Sure, it's addictive.  It keeps me from human interaction.  But it is quite useful.
27.  My computer.  Currently a Windows Tablet.  I should use it more often.
28.  The MTA.  I spend a good chunk of my day commuting on it.  Your prices may have more than doubled since I've come to NYC.  But I still love you.
29.  Logic.  You may not always make sense.  But you help me put things in perspective.
30.  Mornings.  I am not a morning person.  But you make me smile when I see you.  I have survived another one, I like to say.
31.  The Nighttime.  When I really shine.  When I get most of my work done. 
32.  Weekends.  Even though I work through most of them, you give me a chance to recharge my batteries. 
33.  My hat collection.  From yarmulkes that I hardly wear to my favorite trilby, I have a nice collection.
34.  The stars.  I hope in my lifetime I get to visit other systems and see how they look from up closer.
35.  The world.  What a wonderful place to live.

Thank you all.  And Happy Thanksgiving.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Potentially the Most Offensively Tepid Post I've Ever Penned.

I don't know what it is about this bombing in Har Nof that pisses me off the most. Is it that the victims were not the ones who are the real enemies of the killers?  Is it that neither side can find a peaceful, more constructive way to ameliorate the tensions?  Or is it the copious posts bleating about how much the whole world hates the Jews?

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have tried remaining silent about this issue. After all, no good has come from my discussing my point of view. I'm not going to change any minds. After all, I am already perceived as a self-hating Yid (I'm not).  And so, not only have I denied my people, I have thrown out the baby, the bathwater, the crib, and most of the nursery too. Right?

After all, how can any decent human being seriously criticize Israel?  If you deny the Jews (even the secular ones) their Israel, you [insert Reductio ad Hitlerum here].

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where I stand (or shall I sit?)

For those following my other posts, you know that I am a pretty hard skeptic about the Bible as a reliable history source. This includes the traditional interpretation I was raised with.
-a one deity
-omnipotent
-omniscient
-benevolent
-loving
-has all these rules that are imperative
-belief is intrinsic
-there are chosen people

Yes, chosen people. And a chosen nation for a chosen people.

Sure, everyone wants to believe they are special.  Everyone wants to believe they are loved by whatever spirits watch over them. And when bad things happen, why not blame it on the supernatural?

Israel. Palestine. Zion. Judea-Samaria. Whatever you choose to call it.

The chosen land.

Well, I don't necessarily subscribe to the biblical narrative anymore.

So why should I support Israel at all?

Answer: very minimally.

-the only fully Westernized country in the area. Sure, it is as a result of colonialism. But in this case, I would think the bad outweighs the good.
-humanitarian perspective. What other country has full rights for women, minorities, LGBTQ, and people of all stripes?  Israel is much closer to that than Palestine.
-anyone who denies that the Jews had a presence in the land does not know their history. However, the Jews do exaggerate how strong their ties to the land are.

_________________________________________________________________________________

And how about the group known as the Palestinians?

If I hear one more person say "there's no such thing as Palestine", I will blow my lid.

You don't hear Hindus say there's no such thing as Pakistan. Or Turks saying there's no such thing as Armenia. And do the Tutsis deny that the Hutus exist?  And does anyone deny that the Jews exist?

Okay, there are those who deny that Ashkenazim are "Real Jews;" those who say they are Kuzarim who converted en masse; they would say that the real Jews are either nonexistent or dispersed among the Sefardi/Mizrahim.

But other than that--saying that there's no such thing as Palestine is pretty damn pernicious if you ask me.

Sure, it is a synthetic definition. But aren't most regional identities synthetic to an extent?

I mean take my ethnic identities. I am an American. I live in Harlem. I was raised in New Jersey. I was born in Brooklyn. I was raised Jewish. My mother is half-Polish half-Hungarian. My father is a big mix of Polish, German, Galitzyan, and who know/cares what else. I am an ethnic mutt!  And I'm proud.

Palestinian. Until the early 1960s, it meant the people living in the Levant area, what's now called Israel and Jordan. Then Jordan became a Hashimite Kingdom.

Then, the PLO gave it more specific definition. They fit it to mean those who were expelled from their land between the years 1947-50 as a result of the Naqbaa (as they call it). Later, the definition was extended to include 1967 and the West Bank.

And I say so what if they choose to self-identify as Palestinian?

So what if the people who now call themselves Palestinian were not always Palestinian?

For how many years were the Jews considered wretches without a land?

And now, they have become the former slave torturing the former master.

Does that make it right?

Gah. Too complicated to answer in one simple post.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Tip of the Mountain, part 0


The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from being seen

But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine
Take a woman like you 
To get through to the man in me.
--Bob Dylan

Suspend reality for a moment. Pretend that you know nothing about dating. Pretend you have never been in a relationship in your life. Pretend that you don't even know the first thing about courting a member of the opposite sex (or the same, if you prefer). Picture, for a moment, that all the rules about how a relationship should work are able to violate themselves for one brief moment. And in that moment, love can be born completely ex nihilo. 

Jacob slaved 7 years for the wrong woman, another 7 for the right woman, and ended up in one fucked up dysfunctional marriage. I may as well have bided my time for a woman I am glad I ended up with.  

—_______________________________________________________________________________

In my dreams, she was far from angelic. She was the opposite of the aidele maidel that I was programmed to pursue from the time I was young. She would never be the type to stay at home and clean my dishes while I earned some bread. She smoked. She cursed. She most certainly did not put up with my bullshit. I do not even remember what our first conversation was about. All I know is that we argued about something. One of many we would get into. 

And somehow, I managed to get her number by the end of that conversation. Unusually smooth for me. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

I sat there, almost naked in front of her. It was a hot summer day. I was wearing a worn pair of boxer shorts, and nothing else.  I must have looked like something between a beached whale and a hobbit reclining there. 

She sat there on her bed. She was wearing shorts and an orange tank top. She was barefoot, hair clipped upward, and with small round glasses. 

How long can two young, supple ventigenarians successfully live together and not allow their sexual tensions to get in the way. If every bad sitcom and chick flick was correct, not very. 

Sure, society says that a man and a woman should not cohabitate before marriage. Even if they live in separate bedrooms, never see each other naked, and never even hold hands, they have violated a sacred taboo. And even those who are more open and liberated ask what the fuck is wrong with us. Why don't we just fuck already?  Or make love, if you prefer. 
_________________________________________________________________________________
But sometimes, a couple is simply not ready to cross over to the other side. Sometimes, when things are rushed into, they implode. 

I can only imagine what would have happened if we tried engaging in coitis early on in our relationship. 

Perhaps she would find me too forceful. 
Perhaps my lack of confidence would turn her off. She is probably more used to men who already have a well established sexual routine. 
After all
It's not like I was a cherry. I was not. 
But
Then again
It's not like I ever enjoyed sex either. 
I had never been with a woman who gave me room to find my own sexual identity. 
All the women I had been with were bad for me. 
The wrong sort. 
Yes, they expected me to already know my way around their holy of holies when I was a mere plebeian. 
She might have been put off by my puerility.

Or perhaps she would have enjoyed it.
But we were not ready for each other.
Inevitably, we would get into a fight.
Things would fizzle out.

In short, she would have just been a fling. But the best damn fling I would ever have.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Pop quiz, no peeking:
What's the worst place to take a woman on a date?

A strip club is probably not the absolute worst. But it's pretty fucking bad.

This night in late August was just another night for us. She wanted to go to Atlantic City. Funds were too low. So instead, we went to a strip club.

It was a waste of $200. But the best damn waste of $200 ever.

The drinks were watered down and insipid.
The chairs were comfy.
The girls were concerned that I wasn't slobbering over them. Maybe I was too polite. They thought it was because I was with my wife and she was being a buzzkill. Actually, we are not married and it was her idea to go to the club.

They tried to make small talk with me. I was never good with small talk.
They asked me what I do. I said "special ed teacher". She said "but you don't look like a teacher, you look like a rock star!"
I guess I do look like I'm in a band. It helps when I'm trying to get into a club. They sometimes let me in for free because they think I'm with the band. I do give off that vibe.

The women were very good at what they do. They kept dragging me away from her, into the corner, and tried getting me into the champagne room. I smiled and told them that when I make champagne room money, I will oblige. Until then, I pay by the lap dance.

_________________________________________________________________________________
Our Cupid was a dancer who was on her off session. She was slightly older than the others. She had short hair, yellowing teeth, and a thick Romanian accent. She may not have been as sleek as the other dancers, but what she lacked in youth she more than made up for in experience.

She came over to us. Gave us both a dance at the same time. She caressed us both. She took off her dress. She rubbed her tits against us both.  I really appreciated the lack of cellulite on her. They were probably no bigger than b-cups. They sagged slightly. But I prefer the natural look. They looked great on her.

She even kissed us both on the cheek.


Perhaps the sexiest dance we both had that night.

_____________________________________________[___________________________________

A moment alone. We were spent and almost ready to go.

I was complaining about how I just didn't have the funds to spend on more services that night.

She said "you know you could have me for free, right?"

Now, I do not shock easily. Very few things in this world actually surprise me.

My reaction must have been a paradoxical combination of surprise and "well, what do you expect?"